The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Handling Difficult Employees

By Robert Bacal

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Handling Difficult Employees, released in June, 2000, and written by Robert Bacal is written for people who work with difficult employees. While the book presents solutions from the manager's point of view, the principles and realities presented in the book are sure to help anyone stuck with working with a difficult employee. Coming in in excess of 300 pages, it is a hands-on practical guide, with just enough theory to help you make intelligent decisions about how to handle those difficult people. We've provided some chapter excerpts and table of contents for your convenience. The final book version may differ slightly from the information presented here. Available in bookstores, you can save by buying at amazon.com by clicking on the cover to the right.

You Can Save By Buying At Amazon.com

Back to Previous Excerpt

Back to book Main Page

Next Excerpt (coming)

Chapter 2 -2 It Takes Two

They say it takes two to tango. It takes two to make a baby. It also takes two to a) make an argument and b) make a difficult situation worse. Why am I telling you this?

It’s simple. We live in a blaming culture. When something unpleasant happens, the first thing people do is to pick someone to blame, someone to hold at fault. Unfortunately, that approach doesn’t work very well in solving problems, and it certainly doesn’t work very well in dealing with difficult people.

A very important step in becoming better at dealing with difficult people and situations is to put the blaming aside. There’s a very simple reason. When you blame someone you tend to get angry and act angry. When you are angry you are less able to deal with the difficult situation in a constructive way. You lose control. You say things you regret. You do all the human things human beings do when they get angry, and unfortunately most of those things make things worse.

So, consider this situation. An employee approaches you and makes an unpleasant remark about your management ability. I think we’d both consider that a difficult behavior. Is there a problem? Well, that depends on you.

If you react badly, you will create a much worse, much bigger situation than existed in the first place. If, for example, you reply in some nasty way, then the situation is likely to escalate, become an argument. Even worse, your reaction may create problems, not only in the present, but in the future.

So, while difficult behavior is ... well, difficult, how you handle it will determine whether you create a permanent problem and a big blow up, or reduce or eliminate the fallout from the difficult behavior.

This Won’t Work!

People habitually involved in conflict tend to make a simple error. They blame the other person for the whole problem, not realizing it takes two to make a difficult situation into a major problem. Never assume that the other person is the sole source of the problem or difficulty.

It’s up to you. It does take two to argue. It almost always takes two to poison relationships. It takes two to escalate a small ten-second piece of difficult behavior into an all out war.

That’s a good thing. It means you (again, let’s repeat) you, as recipient of the difficult behavior, often get to determine what happens, provided you keep your wits about you, stay away from blaming, and stay constructive.

If you stay away from blaming the person being difficult, recognize that you can take control of the situation, and understand that what happens after the “first shot” will be determined by your reaction, you will be in a better position to deal with those difficult situations.

Back to Previous Excerpt

Back to book Main Page

Next Excerpt (coming)