How does listening to others increase the likelihood others will listen to me?

Listening Increased the Chance That We Will Be Heard

We have a tendency to be more interested in speaking and being heard, than in listening and hearing and understanding others. Most of us are afflicted with this minor touch of egotism. So, we tend to try to speak more than listen, and compose our responses while the other person is talking.

However, there's an interesting paradox that operates. There is a strong tendency for people to be more interested in others who show an interest in them. When you listen and try to understand someone, the other person develops a sense of rapport, and that tends to push them into wanting to hear about what you have to say.

It's true that this doesn't always happen. We've all been in situations, with boorish or self-centered people where, no matter what we might do, they will never listen to us, since they aren't interested in anything or anyone else but themselves. There's not much we can do with those people, but then again, you never know when making a sincere effort to understand someone -- even a boor, will encourage them to take an interest in what you have to say.