Silence can be your friend in conversations

How does discomfort with silence in conversations interfere with communication?

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We live in a noisy society, surrounded by external sounds, and many of us have become so accustomed to noise that we feel uncomfortable when there is a lack of sound, or, in conversation, when nobody is speaking. Many of us are quite simply, uncomfortable with silence, and that's one reason why a lot of people have a television on, or radio, even when they hardly listen to it.

The problem is that when talking or listening, silence is helpful to allow both people to think. Understanding does not come automatically, but requires at least some degree of thought. A conversation with no gaps or silences doesn't allow people to process the information. What may be even worse is that when we've become so uncomfortable with silence that we tend to prepare what we want to say while the other person is still talking, so as to fill in the anticipated gaps. That means we aren't listening.

When communicating to groups, silence may be even more important, and it's common for less skilled public speakers to want to fill everything in. However in groups, silence separates topics, can create some drama and suspense, and tends to push audiences to pay more attention. It's a valuable public speaking tool.

So, slow down and allow conversational silences to happen. Or intentionally use silence for better communication.