Placating - Well Meaning But Damaging To Communication

What is placating and how does it create barriers to communication?

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Placating involves giving in to the other person's postion or demands, even though you still are not comfortable, or happy with them. In essence it involves giving in. In addition placating language is language of giving in -- "Ok, ok, whatever you'd like", or "I didn't mean it, really".

People behave in placating ways and use placating language for a number of reasons. One is a desire to smooth over conflict with others, and the intent may, in fact be good, but the methods may not be.

Often when you try to placate someone, you send a mixed meaning or message. You say "It really does matter", and you also say, "It doesn't matter." This is an incongruence that confuses the other person. So placating tends to obscure communication and understanding.

If you are truly OK with giving in, then that's different since you probably won't create communication confusion, provided you explain why it's OK.

There are of course, other reasons why people go into placating mode, and you should reflect on your own motivations. Are you afraid of conflict? Are you afraid of the other person?